Catholic Blog

Husbands, Love Your Wives

hand-in-marriage

As a man, I knew the moment when I was called to Holy Matrimony. I knew in my heart without a shadow of a doubt that I could not serve God more completely than if I was a husband and thank God, a father as well. However, this was then and is now a serious matter of a man seeking out a spouse to become one with in the sight of God. But how is a man to do this that will please God since that is the primary goal for every humans soul.

Understanding this truth, the first step then is to reconcile ourselves to that very command by Christ Himself. As men, we must pray diligently for the graces to first love God before all things and then your neighbor. This of course does not happen overnight, just like meeting the love of your life cannot possibly blossom into an everlasting romance on one date regardless of how wonderful it might have been. This takes personal reflection and meditation on the words of Christ and also on the words of the saints who without a doubt cast off all possibility of affection for the flesh. And if you think about it, it makes perfect sense that we should first fall in love with God as we would the woman we plan to spend the rest of our life with. Compare and contrast if you will on the relationships you may have had with a woman you adored and the Almighty God. How long did you talk to her on the phone? Does that possibly compare with the amount of time you spent in prayer? Or how many times have you gone out of your way to show your love and affection for her. Now how about with God? Are you seeing a pattern? Reflect on that for a moment before continuing.

Now that we have in mind how we are to acclimate ourselves to truth first we need now to focus on the woman God has destined for Holy Matrimony. What do we look for? What keeps us from acting shallow or lustfully? Is physical beauty key in selecting a wife? These are all valid questions for a man to consider, so let's start from the beginning. What should we look for in a woman or rather a more well developed question would be what qualities does a God fearing wife have?

[10] Who shall find a valiant woman? far and from the uttermost coasts is the price of her...[26] She hath opened her mouth to wisdom, and the law of clemency is on her tongue. [27] She hath looked well to the paths of her house, and hath not eaten her bread idle. [28] Her children rose up, and called her blessed: her husband, and he praised her. [29] Many daughters have gathered together riches: thou hast surpassed them all. [30] Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: the woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised. - Proverbs 31: 10 & 26-30


There is of course more to this of Proverbs 31 concerning the Good Wife and I suggest every man looking for a wife should read it and read it slowly. But take notice to the words, we need to look for a valiant woman! She is one who basks in wisdom and is governed by clemency. Her ways are driven by the love of God for her family for the specific purpose of glorifying God. And because of her devotion to God, she raises children in the light of her love. Moreover, her physical beauty is also irrelevant, not that she is homely but rather beauty must not be judged carnally. Sure, we all go for a woman that we are attracted to but two men may see the same woman and see something completely different. So look not to the flesh but the merits that please God and by extension her ability to serve those around her. For a woman who loves the Lord is greater than all the wealth of the world because of her devotion to the Lord, she IS the wealth of the world.


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